Throw Some D's On That Chick

Japanese scientists are working on a ringtone for a woman's cell phone that will enlarge her sweater melons. The scientists have embedded a sound into the ringtone that will trick the mind into thinking it is hearing a crying baby. They hope that the brain and body will respond to the ringtone the same way it does to a real crying baby, and the same physical benefits (bigger boobies) will occur. If the sound is heard often enough, then the chesticles should grow. I firmly believe that we should throw some of this economic stimulus money at these guys, they're doing important work.